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Letter "J" » Joan Rivers Quotes
«Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief, and, most of all, fear»
«I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.»
«Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.»
«A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.»
«I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.»
«You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again»
«It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.»
«My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.»
«The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.»
«Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.»