John Q. Public sat on his porch, watching his country crumble before his eyes. He saw party lines disintegrate, and the knell of democracy’s ending ring throughout the land. John was sick of his country and said to himself, in his laconic voice, that his lambent political views would not fit in this lascivious new world. Then, out of nowhere, Tom Brokaw appeared at his doorstep. He spoke in a lachrymose tone and spoke …showed first 75 words of 1303 total…

…showed last 75 words of 1303 total…began to wipe the tears rolling down his eyes, as he sang "America, the Beautiful". He would later find out from Brokaw that his stampede occurred every hour, on the hour. As John Q. Public journeyed out of hell, and back to his house with 2.5 children and his white picket fence in suburban America, he gazed upon the huddled masses and realized that things could be a lot worse, he could have been a democrat!